Guilt

One of the things I’ve struggled with the most at college is the ever-present guilt. Because unlike work, school does not end when you come home. It does not stop over weekends. There is homework to do, papers to write, and exams to take. I come home, and if I choose to make a large dinner, it’s taking time that I could spend doing homework. If I choose to play on Saturday, those are precious hours I could be spending squirreled away in the library. If I choose to spend time with my husband, watch TV, not work on Sunday–these are all choices other than school. And school must be The Choice.

I’m a full-time student after all.

But taking time for yourself is important. Particularly for me, if I don’t have “me time” I go crazy. But every moment of “me time” is always tempered with the knowledge that I could be doing something more productive and useful with my time. I think it’s why I glory in the feeling over Christmas break and the summer of not having homework haunting my every decision. The feeling that I should feel hunted, but that I’m not.

I think I have a guilt complex. It’s extremely draining sometimes.

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4 thoughts on “Guilt

  1. i totally understand about being guilt ridden! i suffer from feeling guilty about so many things! but as someone who never really took me time during college, just know – you’ll regret it if you don’t!

  2. Eliza,
    ‘Me Time’ is terribly important and productive. It refreshes you so you can focus better, learn better, etc. Like they say you should take a break from the computer at least once an hour… get up move around and stretch. You need breaks. My friend finds that knitting for 15 minutes calms her and she can face homeschooling her 4 children with kindness and love instead of being cranky. Me time is important for your health. Hugs TA

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