This is a tragedy.
There are bananas in my house.
For the first time in a year and a half of marriage and nearly four years at college, I inadvertently paid for a bunch of bananas. For those who don’t know, I am allergic to bananas and generally unenthusiastic about their presence on this planet.
How did this manage to happen? I decided that Kyle and I needed to eat more fruits and veggies, so I participated in Bountiful Baskets, a local food co-op that you can sign up for on a weekly basis. The catch is that you have to pick them up at 7 am on Saturday mornings, and there’s only a 20 minute window to pick it up. If you don’t get yours, they donate it to the local food bank and everybody goes home.
So last night I set my alarm for 6:30, and went to sleep. Evidently, I accidentally set it for 6:30 PM. I woke up at 7:13. I had seven minutes to get my fruits and veggies. I determined it would take too long to wait for Kyle to get dressed, threw on pants and shoes, engaged in some dubiously legal traffic moves to get through lights (turn right on red and then turn right again at the green light), and arrived panicked at about 7:21. They let me have my food.
As I was carrying the large box to my car, a wicked, evil strip of cement between the parking lot and the grass rose up. I couldn’t see it because of the aforementioned box, and I wiped out, landing on my hands and the box in the parking lot. Fortunately, the box landed upright, so I only had to chase a few peppers, mangoes and my dignity around the lot trying to make everything be ok. I collected the peppers and the mangoes (my dignity waiting for clean hair and no scrapes to be found again), and drove back home.
On the bright side, I now have brussels sprouts (which I will attempt to cook without making them gross; they’re one of those foods that in my experience are either delicious or horrifyingly disgusting), green peppers, jalapeno peppers (or some other kind of spicy pepper; they’re not labeled), broccoli, lettuce, zucchini, mangoes, a pineapple, apples, kiwi and a cantaloupe to fill my fruits and veggie wants and desires for the next week or so. Oh, and bananas. But those bring no pleasure.
Incidentally, in the process of writing this entry, I discovered that there are many fruits and veggies I just don’t know how to spell.