Over the weekend our table broke. We were doing some cleaning and reorganizing of our kitchen to accommodate a toddler that is coming to visit tomorrow (my Pyrex dishes will NOT be in his reach, I love them too much), and Kyle sat on a slightly broken chair to get some dishes. We have a couple of these, we keep wood gluing them together and they’ll last for two or three months before they need to be re-glued. Well, this chair hadn’t been glued since September, and as he sat on it, it snapped. He grabbed the table for support, and one of the legs bent and the table went crashing to the ground.
My poor butter dish got shattered.
I mean, Kyle was fine. The table was un-fixable by the likes of me and Kyle, so I went onto Craigslist and KSL to find a new one. I got in touch with a lady today, looked at the table and four chairs she was selling, and purchased them for $80. It was a steal! You can get tables half the size at IKEA and Wal-Mart for over $100. It was kind of ugly, an odd shade of green with matching tile in the center of the table, but it was sturdy, large enough, and cheap.
She said that the table had belonged to her daughter, and there was a sheen of muck on every surface of the table. I was confident that I could clean it up and get it up to my standard of kitchen cleanliness. So I looked up a disinfectant recipe and set to work with a vinegar and water solution cleaning off every surface of the table. It was pretty gross, but as I cleaned it was looking good. I wiped, scrubbed, flaked some paint drops off, and even removed stickers placed on the chair legs, likely by some well-meaning kids.
I scrubbed for three hours. Just as I was about to declare my new table clean and safe to be eaten off of, I noticed that some larvae were crawling out from between the grout of the tiles and the wooden part of the table.
I sucked them up with my vacuum. My philosophy on bugs is that the vacuum kills them nicely, thank you very much.
Then I called the Orkin man. He was very polite, diagnosed my larvae as termite larvae, and recommended I get rid of the table or go to Home Depot and see if they had something that could kill termites and be safe to eat off of later. He then told me that it was very important that I had a table for my family for Thanksgiving, and gave me some suggestions on where I could rent a table on such short notice. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t hosting Thanksgiving, but it was so sweet of him to care about my family for the holidays. It almost made me feel better that my brand new table was infested with termites.
Kyle called the lady back, and she profusely apologized and offered to refund our money. We dropped the table back off and got our money back. Her fiance has plans to deal with the infestation, re-grout and re-varnish the table so that it is safe to sell to somebody else.
Fortunately for him, he now has a CLEAN termite infested table to work with. I’m so nice like that.