Late

There’s something really satisfying for me to be alone, doing what I want. Since my days are filled catering to the whims of a pre-verbal human (one that has been whiny recently because she is sick), doing what I want has become something that tends to take the back seat.

Tonight after Ruby went to bed Kyle went to the library to finish a paper (the last thing he has to do in college! Huzzah!). I have been home alone ever since. I spent some time on the computer, did some sewing (mostly unpicking, then a little bit of sewing…then more unpicking…), and I looked to see that it is now quite late.

I should go to bed.

But I do this almost every night. I do it because I need these hours to myself. It helps keep me centered, and it helps keep me sane. I need time to be me, and I need time to do what I can only do with hours that are not also caring-for-Ruby hours.

It turns out that parenting isn’t a nine to five, it’s a twenty-four seven. If Ruby wakes up, or is sick, or teething, these me hours become Mom hours again. And that’s as it should be. But I find that having a routine and a schedule helps me get those me hours in on a regular basis. Her naps tend to be short and unpredictable, but bedtime is golden.

And I’ll take that.

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One thought on “Late

  1. I was the same way! I always said I wasn’t a good mom after 8:00 PM. I traded no naps (after a point around 2 1/2 years for my kids) for an earlier bedtime. I HAD to know I’d have some ME time.

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