Today, Kyle gave Ruby a bath. As he washed between each of her fingers, he made up a little song to explain to her what each of her fingers does. It went like this.
Your thumb is a rebel, that’s why it’s opposed,
Your first finger gestures, and shows what you knows.
You middle is to tell folks to have a bad day,
Your ring finger tells suitors to go away.
Your pinkie is for promises, and fancy drinks, too,
That’s why it’s important, like my Ruby Boo.
The first draft involved explaining that the middle finger flips people the bird. I told him that he couldn’t teach her to flip people off in his song. This was the best compromise he could come up with. He tried to defend his lyrics by saying that the middle finger has no other individual purpose, everything else it was useful for is in conjunction with other fingers. I wasn’t convinced.